One thing I can’t stand: People who say “I don’t know, that was before I was born.” As if their birth was the beginning of all responsibility for knowledge of history. So terribly parochial. Ignorance should be a source of shame, not pride. I mean, I’m self-centered, but I don’t believe that my knowledge of history should be limited to the years in which I have existed. That would be truly narcissistic.
And while we’re on the topic: I am sick to death of these mutherfucking kids on my street screaming their business out the window, on the street, to the point where I know more things about them than I care to. I feel like doing a little screaming myself. It would go like this:
“Hey kids: your shitty-going-nowhere-fast lives do not interest me, so would you mind keeping them to yourselves?”
And I really hate the fact that those same kids hang out all year, even in the rain, with absolutely no special occasions to ever distinguish one day from the next. It reminds me of my first roommate, who dated a 15 year old. (he was 18, and yes, that technically is statutory rape). Because of the fact that she still lived with her parents (like you’re supposed to when you’re 15) they were always at our apartment. Not once in the year and a half I lived with him did he ever spend the night anywhere else. Just like those damn kids: never anywhere to be, never anything to look forward to.
This is parochialism, and this is what I’m here to fight!
--The Parochialist.
Links!!!
New Brian Morton’s Blog
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/12517
Movies
Charm City Cineaste
http://charmcitycineaste.blogspot.com/
Comics
This Modern World
http://www.thismodernworld.com/newest-comic/
The Maakies
http://www.maakies.com/
The Perry Bible Fellowship
http://www.pbfcomics.com/
Music/Events
Music listings.
http://patsdistrict.com/music_scene/maryland_music_scene.html
http://www.bmorelive.com/
Other Weekly Features
Michael Shermer’s E-Skeptic Newsletter!
www.skeptic.com/eskeptic/08-01-30.html
The Straight Dope
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/080201.html
Anything you think I should link to? Drop me a note!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
Auto Pilot
Some updated links for regular Readers of The Parochialist.
Brian Morton’s Blog
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/12365
Movies
Charm City Cineaste
http://charmcitycineaste.blogspot.com/
Comics
This Modern World
http://www.thismodernworld.com/newest-comic/
The Maakies
http://www.maakies.com/
The Perry Bible Fellowship
http://www.pbfcomics.com/
Music/Events
A good music listing site.
http://patsdistrict.com/music_scene/maryland_music_scene.html
http://www.bmorelive.com/
Michael Shermer’s E-Skeptic Newsletter!
www.skeptic.com/eskeptic/08-01-23.html
The Straight Dope
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/080125.html
Brian Morton’s Blog
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/12365
Movies
Charm City Cineaste
http://charmcitycineaste.blogspot.com/
Comics
This Modern World
http://www.thismodernworld.com/newest-comic/
The Maakies
http://www.maakies.com/
The Perry Bible Fellowship
http://www.pbfcomics.com/
Music/Events
A good music listing site.
http://patsdistrict.com/music_scene/maryland_music_scene.html
http://www.bmorelive.com/
Michael Shermer’s E-Skeptic Newsletter!
www.skeptic.com/eskeptic/08-01-23.html
The Straight Dope
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/080125.html
Thursday, January 17, 2008
****c ******y is worse than ***y ****r
Nothing notable in the CP lately, at least, not anything that haven’t already complained about. But don’t worry--like a seven on a craps table, it’s coming. The next obnoxious article will be there.
At any rate, 2008 may see a change in The Parochialist, as I broaden my horizons of parochialism to include things that have nothing to do with CP. Like last week, the first post of the year, which was devoted entirely to another publication. You see? I’ve grown. I’ve changed.
Links!!!
Brian Morton’s Blog
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/12214
Movies
Charm City Cineaste
http://charmcitycineaste.blogspot.com/
Comics
This Modern World
http://www.thismodernworld.com/newest-comic/
The Maakies
http://www.maakies.com/
The Perry Bible Fellowship
http://www.pbfcomics.com/
Music/Events
A good music listing site.
http://patsdistrict.com/music_scene/maryland_music_scene.html
http://www.bmorelive.com/
Michael Shermer’s E-Skeptic Newsletter!
www.skeptic.com/eskeptic/08-01-16.html
The Straight Dope
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/080118.html
At any rate, 2008 may see a change in The Parochialist, as I broaden my horizons of parochialism to include things that have nothing to do with CP. Like last week, the first post of the year, which was devoted entirely to another publication. You see? I’ve grown. I’ve changed.
Links!!!
Brian Morton’s Blog
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/12214
Movies
Charm City Cineaste
http://charmcitycineaste.blogspot.com/
Comics
This Modern World
http://www.thismodernworld.com/newest-comic/
The Maakies
http://www.maakies.com/
The Perry Bible Fellowship
http://www.pbfcomics.com/
Music/Events
A good music listing site.
http://patsdistrict.com/music_scene/maryland_music_scene.html
http://www.bmorelive.com/
Michael Shermer’s E-Skeptic Newsletter!
www.skeptic.com/eskeptic/08-01-16.html
The Straight Dope
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/080118.html
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Rage against bad critics!
Hey, I’m back!
I will admit that this week it is hard to be angry at City Paper, because my anger has been raised by a much lesser paper, which makes CP look like the New York Times. This lesser paper, which is read by approximately 12 people, printed a scathing, badly written, unsupported load of crap review about my musical project. It was lazy, unnecessarily mean (what can I say? if you don’t get that it’s a joke, you might not enjoy it) and contained at least two very big mistakes--and I quote,
“His Myspace page says that he is similar to Weird Al. That is an understatement.”
Um, honeybun, what you meant to say in your little insult of me, is that this is an OVERstatement. As in, "this guy thinks he's the next Weird Al, but that is an overstatement, because he sucks." But that’s okay--nobody’s reading your paper anyway.
And:
“The lyrics, if you can call them that are immature and out and out stupid.”
Lyrics (plural noun)
1. music song words: the words of a song, especially a popular song (often used in the plural)
Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.
I believe that whether you like what I have to say or not, they are, in fact LYRICS. I am sorry if this person didn’t like my words, but don’t turn around and claim that they do not even count as lyrics. That is what is immature and stupid.
It just pissed me off because criticism should really follow a three step model:
1. what was the artist trying to do?
2. Did the artist accomplish the goal? And
3. Was the goal worth accomplishing?
I can accept negative but valid criticism--indeed, I’ve gotten it in the past and I have learned from it. But this little shitting on of Davey G and the Keyboard just started with the fact that this person did not like the fact that my whole act is done with a Casio keyboard. Because that “proves music is just a hobby, or just something to waste his time.” (actual quote) Because, in this personal's somewhat parochial view, if you’re trying to do comedy, you are obviously wasting your time.
I realize that responding to criticism is also a waste of time, so I am not printing this paper’s name or URL. If you find it, kudos to you. I merely offer them a big “fuck you.” No one reads them, no one cares, and even though that paper came out last month, no one brought it to my attention or even realized it existed. As much as I don’t like City Paper, if they had reviewed me, people would have been calling me first thing Wednesday morning to tell me about it. Maybe I need to lay off on them for awhile…
(Hey, I am angry!!! Just not at City Paper!)
See you next week!
Links!!!
Brian Morton’s Blog
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/12045
This is last weeks’.
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/11890
Movies
Charm City Cineaste
http://charmcitycineaste.blogspot.com/
Comics
This Modern World
http://www.thismodernworld.com/newest-comic/
The Maakies
http://www.maakies.com/
The Perry Bible Fellowship
http://www.pbfcomics.com/
Music/Events
A good music listing site.
http://patsdistrict.com/music_scene/maryland_music_scene.html
http://www.bmorelive.com/
Michael Shermer’s E-Skeptic Newsletter!
www.skeptic.com/eskeptic/08-01-08.html
I will admit that this week it is hard to be angry at City Paper, because my anger has been raised by a much lesser paper, which makes CP look like the New York Times. This lesser paper, which is read by approximately 12 people, printed a scathing, badly written, unsupported load of crap review about my musical project. It was lazy, unnecessarily mean (what can I say? if you don’t get that it’s a joke, you might not enjoy it) and contained at least two very big mistakes--and I quote,
“His Myspace page says that he is similar to Weird Al. That is an understatement.”
Um, honeybun, what you meant to say in your little insult of me, is that this is an OVERstatement. As in, "this guy thinks he's the next Weird Al, but that is an overstatement, because he sucks." But that’s okay--nobody’s reading your paper anyway.
And:
“The lyrics, if you can call them that are immature and out and out stupid.”
Lyrics (plural noun)
1. music song words: the words of a song, especially a popular song (often used in the plural)
Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.
I believe that whether you like what I have to say or not, they are, in fact LYRICS. I am sorry if this person didn’t like my words, but don’t turn around and claim that they do not even count as lyrics. That is what is immature and stupid.
It just pissed me off because criticism should really follow a three step model:
1. what was the artist trying to do?
2. Did the artist accomplish the goal? And
3. Was the goal worth accomplishing?
I can accept negative but valid criticism--indeed, I’ve gotten it in the past and I have learned from it. But this little shitting on of Davey G and the Keyboard just started with the fact that this person did not like the fact that my whole act is done with a Casio keyboard. Because that “proves music is just a hobby, or just something to waste his time.” (actual quote) Because, in this personal's somewhat parochial view, if you’re trying to do comedy, you are obviously wasting your time.
I realize that responding to criticism is also a waste of time, so I am not printing this paper’s name or URL. If you find it, kudos to you. I merely offer them a big “fuck you.” No one reads them, no one cares, and even though that paper came out last month, no one brought it to my attention or even realized it existed. As much as I don’t like City Paper, if they had reviewed me, people would have been calling me first thing Wednesday morning to tell me about it. Maybe I need to lay off on them for awhile…
(Hey, I am angry!!! Just not at City Paper!)
See you next week!
Links!!!
Brian Morton’s Blog
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/12045
This is last weeks’.
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/11890
Movies
Charm City Cineaste
http://charmcitycineaste.blogspot.com/
Comics
This Modern World
http://www.thismodernworld.com/newest-comic/
The Maakies
http://www.maakies.com/
The Perry Bible Fellowship
http://www.pbfcomics.com/
Music/Events
A good music listing site.
http://patsdistrict.com/music_scene/maryland_music_scene.html
http://www.bmorelive.com/
Michael Shermer’s E-Skeptic Newsletter!
www.skeptic.com/eskeptic/08-01-08.html
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About Me
- Davey G.
- Davey G and the...is the handle for writer, performer, musician and sports fan, David G. Cookson. This blog (as the late George Carlin would say) is just a place for his stuff.