Imagine…
Imagine being so hated that your mind jumps to “I’ve been poisoned!” anytime you get sick at a restaurant. Yeah, I’m talking about Shake Shack. I worked in food service for over 16 years, mostly in 2 small, family-owned facilities. Maybe my perspective is narrow, maybe it’s unique…but I think it’s a decent representation of the experience. And I worked with many people who’d worked in bigger, more professional places who talked about their past experience. I have reason to believe that the following observations apply to this situation.
In 16 years, I never fucked with anyone’s food. Not once. Never even crossed my mind.
I couldn’t.
Number one: it’s illegal.
A super quick Google search…
In California at least (where I don’t live), it is illegal. It most likely is illegal elsewhere, as well.
Under the food tampering law, it is illegal to willfully add poison or other harmful substance to a food, drink or medical product that will result in injury to another person. ... While spitting on someone's food may not seem like a serious crime, it could result in incarceration. Jan 13, 2017 (from https://vistacriminallaw.com/)
Number two: Karma. If I was doing it, I’d have to assume that somewhere, somehow, it was happening to me.
Number Three: if you are working around any responsible people and they see you doing something bad to someone’s food, they will not stand for it-restaurant owners, head chefs, supervisors, people who take the job wayyyyyyy too seriously…no one wants to see that.
At any rate, a person who came into the kitchen with that kind of attitude would find themselves out of a job quick.
Number four: Professionalism. I couldn’t look myself in the mirror if I knew I was that kind of person. I’d have to hope that other people feel the same way. But in my experience, many people I worked with took pride in their jobs: their job was part of their identity. They wouldn’t think of tampering with a customer’s food. Most wouldn’t, simply for the “karma” reason I listed above.
Number five: I have never, ever hated anyone enough to do that.
Number six: Oh, the humanity! Ethics? Morality? Belief in a higher power? All that stuff. We know it’s wrong.
I’m not saying it never happens (if it didn’t, why would there be a law?) but these are my immediate thoughts upon hearing about the Shake Shack incident.
Now. With that particular incident…. where cops got sick after drinking Shake Shack Milkshakes…
If you are such a retched human being that you just assume that your food making you sick is the result of a deliberate action, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate your life choices…
I am The Parochialist, and you are not.
